Here’s what happened…

There is a possibility that the story I am about to tell could be an embellishment of what really happened, but that will not stop me from relaying this narrative as factual.

Most people do not know that the Shipiloo family was among the first settlers In the new world.

My direct ancestor, Sir Wallter Shipiloo, stepped foot on the shore of Virginia the year of our Lord, 1607.

Walt, I heard, was a bit of a dandy. He was known for his rakish outfits and his perfectly coiffed hairdo. He must have been a ladies man because he was known to spend a lot of time mending clothing and listening to Cher (maybe a native name) music.

As the story goes, when the men of the camp went out on patrol, they were ambushed by the dangerous, Cleve-land Indians. The settlers were outnumbered and retreated to the camp, right at the time Walt was just finishing his soft shell crab quiche soufflé dish that he was preparing for the lads return.

The indigenous folk, bursted through the meager defenses and started destroying the camp. Sir Walter was heard to shout…”The natives are getting restless”, thus coining the phrase for posterity.

Within minutes all the settlers were cornered in the rear of the camp. Their only hope was my ancestor, Walter Shipiloo. He was the only man who still had a weapon. Walt, with a regal display of bravery, advanced toward the attacking mob. With calmness and an almost anemic quality, Sir Walter brandished his sword and assumed a fighting stance.

Well, it was not actually a sword, but rather the 4 inch paring knife that he had been using to prepare the crab quiche soufflé.

As Sir Walter Parried in with his flaccid wrist attack, the Cleve-land tribe broke into hysterics. As they were rolling on the ground laughing, the women of the encampment trounced the natives with their swinging skillets.

Amazingly enough this triumph was known to be the victory that secured the new world and eventually established the United States of America.

So to honor Sir Walter Shipiloo, we are offering the Mercer Culinary non-stick paring knife to all our customers for the year 1607 prices.

17 thoughts on “Fun Deal 31 – 7 November

  1. CloudWatcher says:

    Anemic quality? 😂

  2. PixelPirate says:

    Flaccid wrist attack, that’s gold!

  3. JavaGenius says:

    1607 prices? Bargain!

  4. TrailBlazer says:

    Sir Walter, the unexpected hero.

  5. CookieMonster says:

    Crab quiche soufflé? Yum!

  6. StarGazer says:

    Laughing natives, what a twist!

  7. TechieTom says:

    Skillet power! 💪

  8. BookwormBrad says:

    Restless natives, classic line.

  9. SmoothieQueen says:

    Paring knife prowess! 😆

  10. GamerGal says:

    Epic historical win!

  11. RocketRacer says:

    Mercer Culinary for the win!

  12. ZenGardener says:

    The Cleve-land Indians, huh? Interesting take.

  13. MemeLord says:

    That’s one way to establish a country!

  14. SoccerMom101 says:

    Sir Walter’s bravery or comedy? 😅

  15. HistoryBuff says:

    Secured the new world, with a paring knife? Epic.

  16. Jim Morrison says:

    Good one
    What a powerful family!!

  17. Gary says:

    Sounds true to me

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