Here’s what happened…

Now, I’m not saying that all of my stories aren’t true, but this one is really really true.

My Great ancestor, Festas P Shipiloo, a member of the San Antonio Guards, found himself in February of 1836 in an old religious mission named the Alamo.

I’m not saying that my ancestor was a brave man. He actually ran a janitorial company and was hired by the mission to clean out the latrines every Wednesday and Friday.

As every school child knows, things got a little messy in the Alamo that month.

The brave men of Texas with the help of other Americans were about to fight a desperate battle against the Mexican army of Generalissimo Antonio López de Santa Anna.

Unfortunately, the battle began on a Wednesday, while Festas was cleaning out the officer’s crapper. The fort was immediately surrounded and poor Festas was forced to fight it out with the others.

The good news was that Davy Crocket and the men from Tennessee arrived to stand and fight with the Texans. Most people do not know that Davie Brought along his younger, more effeminate brother, Cecil to San Antonio with him.

Among other things, Cecil was known for his love of baking, Swedish massage and show tunes. He spent the hot balmy evenings entertaining the troops with his songs, massage and his amazing oatmeal cookies.

As the battle and Cecil raged on, it was clear that the Alamo defenders were in trouble. Even the mighty men with Davy Crocket dwindling in numbers. In fact it was known that almost as many Tennessee Volunteers fell here than in any season from 2000-2023 against the Alabama Crimson Tide football team.

This is where internal squabbling became an enemy equal to the Mexicans outside the gates.

Davy Crocket was demanding that they declare a 1 hour cease fire so that his brother Cecil be allowed to escape.

Terms were agreed upon but Cecil did not know how to ride a horse, so they allowed my ancestor, Festas to go with him.

The two left together sitting on a beautiful horse, riding bareback. I mean literally both men took their shirts off. Cecil insisted that it was  a beautiful day and he needed the color.

Obviously, you know what happened to the Alamo, but let me tell you what happened to my ancestor and Cecil.

They made it as far as Houston and decided to move in together and start a baking company. As I mentioned, Cecil was a little effeminate so everyone in Houston started calling him Betty. So Betty Crocket Baking was formed. Later due to southern wooden teeth, they could only pronounce the last name as Crocker so that sort of stuck. So I can claim a little ownership of the Betty Crocker Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookie Mix – 17.5 oz – 2 pk.

True (ish) story

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